How can I possibly go on?
It looks like it's finally all over between me and the love of my life. The man I thought was the only man for me has left me and I just don't know how I'll cope.
We got together about 10 years ago when he moved into the area where I live. As soon as I saw his blue eyes I felt myself go weak at the knees and knew he was the one. Although we were never introduced I used to watch him nearly every week as he went about his work. It was easy not be too obvious about how I felt for him as I used to hang round in a group of mates and we all used to talk about him non-stop and makes songs up about him
I would spend all of my Job Seekers Allowance on him, buying new clothes in the colours he liked, hoping he would notice me, but my friends all did the same and it was really difficult to be noticed. I changed my hair to the latest fashionable 'curtain' cut, but still he never noticed.
At first everything was great. He was good at his job and soon got promoted in the company to a position of real power and prestige. He could give orders and was really the man running the company, although somebody else had the title of manager.
Things started to go wrong when another manager was brought in and wanted to change things around - he didn't much care for my man and wanted him to leave, I think. Things reached breaking point one day when the new manager wouldn't let my love do some important work until it was too late and the job was botched really badly. I spent ages by myself just sitting in the rain, crying and wondering if things could ever be good again. Very soon after the manager was sacked. Some people said my fella had something to with it, but I wouldn't believe them.
After that things were never really the same. He had a falling out with his Head Office after he was accused of attacking a colleague from another section and threatened to not to work on international contracts anymore if any disciplinary action was taken against him. I don't think Head Office really trusted him anymore after that.
Another new manager was brought in and tried to get him to take a job in another part of the country, but my man wouldn't leave. The new manager left the company not long after and I think my fella had something to do with it. I forgave him though when he said it was "for the
best, the bloke was too old".
It was round about this time that I noticed things were going wrong between us. He didn't seem to be enjoying his work as much and started demanding more work from his colleagues, but doing less himself. Cutbacks meant he couldn't go abroad as often as he used to, and when he did he was made to go Second Class, not first as he used to. This annoyed him, I think.
Things got really bad after another new manager was brought in. My man had a massive argument with someone at work. I think he felt this bloke was trying to take his job and he didn't like it one bit. The thing was, the new guy was doing more work than my man, but it was him who was moved out. I think my man had something to do with that as well, but because everyone knew my bloke called the shots no-one said anything. Not long after the new manager was sacked but everyone could see he was rubbish so no-one minded.
I could see he wasn't really enjoying his work anymore - he'd signed up to do an extra years work but couldn't really be bothered with it. I tried to make him happier by making up silly songs and doing daft things like taking my shoes off and waving them around my head and stuff, but I don't think he's a leg man as he never really noticed.
It all came to ahead in the past few weeks when he pulled a 'sickie' before his contract was up and then said he was leaving.
We had a big party for him yesterday where I got very drunk and started crying when I realised he was really, really leaving me without even kissing me once, although I managed to get myself on the video we made as a leaving present. I don't know what to do. Can you help?