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18th January 2012, 09:44 PM
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#1 |
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Midfield
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
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One Born Every Minute
Had to leave the room cause I felt a bit faint watching that
 Tell us your horror stories about childbirth 
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I had dirty knee's before Di Canio |
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18th January 2012, 09:46 PM
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#2 |
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Striker
Join Date: Jan 2005
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Re: One Born Every Minute
Strangled myself with my umbilical cord, turned blue, almost died.
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---------------------------------------------------------------- Under no circumstances leave a heron unattended in your bathroom |
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18th January 2012, 09:51 PM
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#3 |
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Central Defender
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Coxhoeshire
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Re: One Born Every Minute
I didn't get the chance to see my lad being born but my mate told me of his experience. Reckons he couldn't believe how mush shite came out along with the bairn. He reckoned they were pulling auld bike frames and all sorts out of his lass.
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Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.....Oscar Wilde |
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18th January 2012, 09:55 PM
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#4 | |
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Midfield
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
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Re: One Born Every Minute
Quote:
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I had dirty knee's before Di Canio |
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18th January 2012, 10:03 PM
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#5 |
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Striker
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Next door to England's Lourdes
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Re: One Born Every Minute
My missus had a massive coughing fit just after giving birth. Blood literally sprayed all over the face of the midwife, just before it was followed by the placenta (fucking hell, they're huge) being coughed out and hitting the same midwife in the chest.
The missus was completely oblivious to it all. |
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18th January 2012, 10:05 PM
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#6 |
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Winger
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Chester-le-Street
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Re: One Born Every Minute
Had to help out down the business end, most disgusting thing I have ever seen and smelled in my life
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"ill eat your fucking face shit it out and forcefeed it you ya fuckpig" - scubadiver69er |
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18th January 2012, 10:06 PM
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#7 |
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Winger
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: exiled from the promised land
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Why did I read this thread. I now feel sick. Pleased I am a bloke
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PROOF : TITS WEAR BLACK & WHITE!!!!!! |
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18th January 2012, 10:10 PM
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#8 |
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Striker
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Beautiful Durham
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Re: One Born Every Minute
was at the birth of my little girl.
fascinating how much a fanny will stretch without splitting.
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Cherky Chops |
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18th January 2012, 10:10 PM
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#9 |
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Midfield
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Re: One Born Every Minute
I was there for the whole birth but had to turn away when the placenta came out, step too far that.
Amazing experience, horrific, but amazing all the same.
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Running around, banging your drum, Like its Nineteen Seventy Three..... |
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18th January 2012, 10:10 PM
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#10 |
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Striker
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Exactly one year ago, to the minute, my little girl, just over 10 minutes old, was surrounded by medical staff fighting to make sure she survived.
Was the early hours before we knew she'd make it through the night. Just had a cracking day today celebrating the happy little lasses first birthday :)
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When the eagles are silent (or go elsewhere) the parrots begin to jabber |
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