Some right horrible characters have managed NUFC during my time following North East Football and I was pondering where Alan Pardew stands alongside some of their most unsavoury gaffers.
Here's the comprehensive list for the record with comments and 5 star cu
nt rating (where 5 is an utter cu
Willie McFaul - seemed like a decent sort, nothing to say about him 1* out of 5
Jim Smith - another reasonably likeable old geezer, the bald eagle. No axe to grind from me 1* only
Osvaldo Ardiles - great footballer, lousy manager but he's getting 3 stars, one each for managing NUFC, his involement with Swindon during the scandle and of course he comes from Argentina
Kevin Keegan - 3*** would have been 5, but take one off for blowing the lead and flipping out on live TV and also for his great work on Superstars including that time he fell off his bike. More despicable Toon bosses out there.
Kenny Dalglish - I really really want to give him a five, but we beat them under his stewardship and he signed John Barnes. Ah fuck it he's Kenny Dalglish. 5*
Ruud Gullit. Did a bloody good job as far as I can see. 1* for spitting at Rudi Voeller rather than anything he achieved at the Sports Direct Arena.
Sir Bobby Robson. A fine fine man and a legend no matter what side your North East bread is buttered on. No stars
Graeme Souness. I quite liked Souey and thought he'd make a decent manager for them, but they never took to him. I don't think Souness is a cu
nt and even if I did I'd never say it to his face or even on the internet as I'm shit scared of him. 1*out of 5
Bloody hell they've had a lot of managers and this is getting tedious. Nevertheless, I shall continue.
Glenn Roeder. Can't put my foot on the reasons why but Reoder used to get on my nerves. Cockney, had a slight look of Anne Robinson about him, played for and managed the mags. 3*** and lucky to escape with 3
Sam Allardyce. 4* rating for Big Sam. Horrible character, dreadful football. Only gets away with a 4 becasue they hated him
Joe Fucking Kinnear. Definitely a 5* cu
nt, but great fun while it lasted. Job nearly killed him and that would have been sad if it had.
Alan Shearer. Pfffft Can't be a five after taking them down, plus he's quite a decent pundit on TV IMO 4*
Chris Hughton. I think.....no stars. Decent chap and far too dignified to last as a long term Newcastle manager in the current climate. I'd like to wish him well for tonight.
Alan Pardew. Grade A bellend. If you were to times Kinnear*Allardyce*Shearer *Dalglish you still wouldn't get close. Clearly the most foul man to manage NUFC and that really is saying something