Hazey, off to Germany...

[AB22 Easy Tiger]

3 years ago this week, Hazey was headed to Germany for what he hoped would be a life saving operation.

Dull Ramblings

Well, I've been pleasantly surprised by people constantly telling me they read my blogs, I didn't realise more than about 4 people read the things, but it's nice to hear that people 'enjoy' them. I don't know what I would have done without this place, it's such a great place to sound off about things and just generally write a load of rambling bollocks too, it takes some getting in to but it comes easily after a while and becomes, especially during something like this, something to rely on in terms of the outlet it gives me. My family have appreciated them as well because they can read all my thoughts and stuff, when I've been making big decisions and stuff they have been intrigued to see what I am thinking because most of this stuff is the kind of thing you'd never spool off over the phone. My sister has found it a little weird in that she sometimes feels like she's reading my diary (which in essence, she is, but a public diary, obviously) but still likes the connection it gives her.
She had another baby boy yesterday, she had to have an emergency c-section but it all worked out well in the end. I'm touched by the fact his middle name is going to be 'Graeme'. Hopefully I'll get to see him and his brother growing up. I'm just trying to remain calm now, I've bought a few DVD box sets for Germany as I can't imagine the telly will be up to much, plumped for Rome, all the Star Trek borg episodes and the first series of The Wire. I'm off out for a drink tonight (not an alcoholic one) with some people I know tonight, ex-flatmate and a lovely couple the missus knows, see how long I last before I feel knackered. I'm canny knackered now actually, oh to have more energy, I'll drink a couple of pints of coke, that should perk me up.
This number is a little tedious really isn't it? sorry about that

Hello everyone,
I'm doing ok, I'm still fairly calm at the moment but I had one of those moments where I imagined what it will be like to have the porter come for me to wheel me away and saying goodbye, possibly forever but hopefully not, to my wife and mam. That is going to be very fucking odd, no two ways about it, as will getting the injection and not knowing if you'll ever wake up from it. Brrrr. And that's only a couple of days away now. Shhhhiiiiittttttttt.....
I'm trying to remain focused and think about how ace it will be if I come home with this shit cut out of me, that's what I have to remember, not obsess on the dangers but think of what it will be like for it to be successful. I’ve been suffering with liver problems for so long now I don’t know what it is like to feel properly ‘well’, I’d love to experience that again, to have the energy, the vitality, the peaceful nights sleep….
I’ve been pondering the big questions again and just appreciating everything I have while I’m still here. I’ve spent some lovely time with the missus, it’s nice to make time to just lie on the bed, holding hands, saying nothing while the wind blows through the trees outside. I’ll look forward to seeing my mam and dad today and telling them how much I love them, I just hope the money they are spending on this op is worthwhile. But I know even if it fails/I die they will be pleased to have given me the chance, a chance I wanted to take. I dream of just being able to have a normal-ish life again, to just sit in a pub with a paper and a pint, or having a couple of drinks with the missus after work on a Wednesday, like we used to…what a delight that would be. Maybe in 6 months/a year it may be possible again. I even struggle to read properly at the minute as my mind wanders whereas previously I could just empty my head and plunge in to a book for hours at a time.
Well, it’s the day of my flight now, I feel ok so far. Had a chat with my mam and she said she would be willing to donate half her liver for a live liver transplant for me (she is the same blood group as me) which is pretty amazing to hear. I mean, I hoped that would be the case but I was never going to ask or anything. It’s a pretty big gesture alright though but I like to think I would do the same for any of my family or the missus, but you don’t know until you’re put in the situation really. It means a lot though, having that available if needs be. God, I love them all to bits, all my family and my wife, without them I’d be nowhere.
Well kids, for once I’m a little stuck for words. I had high hopes for this blog, I intended it to be a ramble to end all rambles but it just isn’t coming out, no matter how hard I try. If I don’t make it back try to love as much as you can, don’t fear hurt, don’t aim to possess just love people for the fact they exist and are in your life. Never lose sight of just how amazing your existence and the fact we are here, conscious, in this unimaginably huge cosmos, is. The universe in general is a place of such wonder, from the realms of the quantum up to the realm of creation itself, look in to it and decide for yourself what existence is all about, don’t just follow the crowd, you might be surprised.
To the God that I believe in, please, be with me now.

Happy Birthday Toby.

This is actually Janiep, posting in line with Hazey's wishes and permission.
For those of you who haven't spotted it on the main board, the operation in Germany hasn't worked. The tumour could not be removed without endangering his life.
He's fecking sick and pissed off. He really is. So am I. So no doubt are you, dear reader.
He'll be coming home, and no doubt will be back on here to post himself before too long. He'll be having chemo once he's back.
I don't know what else to say at the moment.

http://www.readytogo.net/blogs/hazey...+of+Hazey.html

[Porridge]

In tears at work here reading that.

Happy birthday Toby

RIP Hazey

[GBSAFC]

Originally Posted by AB22 Easy Tiger

3 years ago this week, Hazey was headed to Germany for what he hoped would be a life saving operation.

Dull Ramblings






Happy Birthday Toby.



http://www.readytogo.net/blogs/hazey...+of+Hazey.html

bit of hazey reality check there... for all us daft kunts who think we have it hard.
well played graeme lad... gone but not forgotton

[Epping]

Originally Posted by GBSAFC

bit of hazey reality check there... for all us daft kunts who think we have it hard.
well played greame lad... gone but not forgotton

far from it

Originally Posted by GBSAFC

bit of hazey reality check there... for all us daft kunts who think we have it hard.
well played greame lad... gone but not forgotton

life can be a very very dark place at times i was unnaware of how much it can fuck you up till recently myself..

[Guinness Guzzler]

Brilliant posts- everytime i read his blogs i find myself being genuinely thankful for what i have, and realising that i have been taking too much for granted and getting too worked up over trivial matters. By all accounts a brilliant lad, and an inspiration to us all

RIP Hazey

[Epping]

Originally Posted by Guinness Guzzler

Brilliant posts- everytime i read his blogs i find myself being genuinely thankful for what i have, and realising that i have been taking too much for granted and getting too worked up over trivial matters. By all accounts a brilliant lad, and an inspiration to us all

RIP Hazey

I must take issue mind... its his fault I now drink copius amounts of Guiness

[GBSAFC]

hazey was nowt but brave and funny with it even when suffering ...
the story of his 'magic piles cream' still makes me smile.

[Madchester Mackem]

Was, and still is, a great read.

RIP Hazey

Originally Posted by GBSAFC

hazey was nowt but brave and funny with it even when suffering ...
the story of his 'magic piles cream' still makes me smile.

[wanny]

Originally Posted by Guinness Guzzler

Brilliant posts- everytime i read his blogs i find myself being genuinely thankful for what i have, and realising that i have been taking too much for granted and getting too worked up over trivial matters. By all accounts a brilliant lad, and an inspiration to us all

RIP Hazey

ditto.