Depression

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salad dodger said:
Any of you guys get to a stage where everything is drifting by comfortably, but in reality you are really only one moment away from it all going to shit again? No matter how good things go for me it always seems built on sand.
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I'm used to disappointment now, that's just life. In my adult life I can honestly say I've had a few decent years where everything has went really well and the rest has just turned to shit. Have low expectations mate, you'll enjoy life so much more.
 


yorkyexile said:
yep blowing it up into imagining things that`ll never happen in a million years, making sleep impossible so your your even more knackered and the the thoughts get wilder and round and round it goes. Worst thing is even though i can recognise it these days and at least try to fight it and drag meself through it and back to some sort of balance, can i hell find a trigger for it to give me self a chance of avoiding it. Both the Doc and the Mental health guy at work reckon its a predisposition so I dont even know if there is a recognisable trigger
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Research shows cognitive bias , those who have numerous periods of depression are more susceptible to normal adverse events , like the car breaking down , family disputes etc causing longer term mood disturbance , so you may never see a trigger that you identify as meaningful. Thing to do is to recognise what you do when you are well, what supports you and make sure you do it more whenever there is any hint of anything that could lower mood , even getting flu etc, straight after hit the programme.
 
Think it was Ernest Hemingway (or was it Hunter S Thompson?) who said the one thing that kept him happy & content during his entire adult life was the thought/fact he had the option of suicide at any point he chose.

During the lowest points of life it's easy to relate to that way of thinking...
 
NewAdventuresInWiFi said:
Think it was Ernest Hemingway (or was it Hunter S Thompson?) who said the one thing that kept him happy & content during his entire adult life was the thought/fact he had the option of suicide at any point he chose.

During the lowest points of life it's easy to relate to that way of thinking...
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When I've got really low I've sometimes thought of suicide as a way of telling myself 'well if it's that bad at least I can get out of it' a strange morbid comfort.
 
I have sort of purposefully avoided this thread in the main but I'm glad that I have had a look tonight.
Some of the things that ppl have posted..... It's almost as if they have read my own mind and put it in writing.
It does help to think that many others are struggling and sometimes for no obvious reason.
It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone has got it sorted except me.
 
I've often wondered if I suffer from it. I go through real slumps, having one at the minute after recently losing my job. Seem to be constantly tired can't be arsed to eat days just drift by with no recollection of them, go days without shaving or showering. So lethargic from doing fuck all don't want to see or speak to anyone, wonder why I'm here etc. Sure it's not depression like but I wonder
 
rokerman said:
First post on this thread and I have a question that I hope you can answer.
I've heard that having a dog can help depression. Can anyone comment?
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Yes, my dog has kept me alive through some bad times with depression, including suicidal times in the past.
Not as bad now, but he is still a rock for me, but I am trying to reduce my dependency on him (whilst still loving him to bits) so I dont go over the edge when he does die.
Get yourself a intelligent little yorkie or something, worked wonders for me.

Littlerobbieh said:
That doesn't help but I've had depression 18yrs now, long before any of that. It's only recently I've spoken out about it to my family tho. Tried to kill myself twice in my early 20's but somehow kept it hidden from them. I do anything to act normal. I get addictions easy, gambling, fitness, drinking heavily, smoking, just go through phases and once one passes onto the next. Just a circle of shitness, some days are ok but the last week or so's been crap.
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Have look on www.do-it.org/

See if you can find something you are interested in doing, volunteering (if you can find somewhere supportive, and chances are you will in time as the volunteer industry is full of people who want to help) then it might be the best thing you could do. Worked incredibly well for me, my life is changing big time since I started volunteering, got a long long way to go, but heads a lot better.
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salad dodger said:
Any of you guys get to a stage where everything is drifting by comfortably, but in reality you are really only one moment away from it all going to shit again? No matter how good things go for me it always seems built on sand.
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I would not say comfortably, but I often get to a point where I have been coasting along managing to cope with my routine and managing to find little ways to get better bit by bit, but all it takes (and its happened many times) is for that one thing to happen and life just goes tits up and you spiral out of control very quickly.
Right now I feel like I can cope with more than I could before, but it would be very easy for a pen pusher to push me right over the edge and undo all the positive work that has been done and all the progress that has been made.

janiep said:
Live in the moment a little more. If things are in a comfortable drift, let them stay there for as long as they want.
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You cant do that if external events kick in to stop the comfortable drift.

becs said:
Yes. I've had so many bad things happen over the last few years. Then when things are going ok, rather than enjoy it, I get all anxious expecting something bad to happen :confused:
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I sometimes (more so in the past) get paranoid if things go well,not just expecting the worst, but thinking why are they going well, is this some sort of set up to screw me over or something?
Not experiencing that recently though.
 
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Sidewinder2 said:
I've often wondered if I suffer from it. I go through real slumps, having one at the minute after recently losing my job. Seem to be constantly tired can't be arsed to eat days just drift by with no recollection of them, go days without shaving or showering. So lethargic from doing fuck all don't want to see or speak to anyone, wonder why I'm here etc. Sure it's not depression like but I wonder
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From experience it sounds like you do, the only advice I could offer really is just be open about it.
 
I dont know if I should post this, it may seem a little too new age hippie, but it may help some of you tortured souls and it worked for me.
Back in 96 I was so depressed I couldnt talk without mumbling, nobody could understand what I was saying, I couldnt sleep even though I was always mentally exhausted, I was always constantly ill, I was at my wits end and suicidal.
But I had an epiphany and I guess thats why I'm still around today and loving it.

Nothing and Nobody in this life should stop you feeling good.
Everything comes from within
You do not need to search for external reasons to be happy and to feel good
You just do it unconditionally, from within, you are entitled.
You have one life. The joy of living. The "Joie de vivre".

Its a key point. Nobody can ever, ever give you Love or Joy.
They can only SHOW you Love and invoke Joy. Its a crucial difference.
The love and joy you feel comes from within. Its generated by you. Its all from within yourself.
You can feel it unconditionally, you are entitled.
It really is the power of postive thinking.

I bet most of you have almost forgotten what its like to feel pure joy.
Heck, once I shed a tear through sheer joy and elation, on my own, on the way to work FFS.
A moment of ecstacy when I had reflected on how far I'd come.
I genuinely havent been ill in over 10 years. No headaches, coughs, aches, nowt.

FFS maybe it sounds dumb, but I urge you to change your mindset, nuture this habit, if it saved my sorry ass maybe it can save one of yours.
 
spanky said:
I've been on holiday this week and had a little wobble with regards to worrying about what might happen... The mind is a strange thing!
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On holiday too. Had myself worried sick in case I was poorly while I was away. Even looked up the nearest doctors and hospital, wrote a list of my medication and travel insurance details down and made sure the eldest knew what to do if the worst happened. In reality I've barely had any symptoms at all while I've been here and have felt great!

I've been sharing a double bed with my 8 year old daughter which is like sleeping with an eplipetic octopus. Had a few broken nights sleep due to her thrashing around. Laying in the dark, I've caught myself worrying about work next week and my car needs a MOT and stuff and have to keep telling myself to stop it.
 
becs said:
On holiday too. Had myself worried sick in case I was poorly while I was away. Even looked up the nearest doctors and hospital, wrote a list of my medication and travel insurance details down and made sure the eldest knew what to do if the worst happened. In reality I've barely had any symptoms at all while I've been here and have felt great!

I've been sharing a double bed with my 8 year old daughter which is like sleeping with an eplipetic octopus. Had a few broken nights sleep due to her thrashing around. Laying in the dark, I've caught myself worrying about work next week and my car needs a MOT and stuff and have to keep telling myself to stop it.
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Look up . http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=46
 
My anxiety has been much better since my cpn gave me some cbt sheets to try, going through what I'm worrying about & logically figuring out how much is true & how much is me putting a negative slant on things. I don't use the sheets now, I just try to go through the process in my head.

The worst thing for me is that I'm not necessarily worrying about anything & I don't need to have any kind of meaningful trigger, it's just like the shutters come down & I'm left with nothingness. Sadness & anxiety at least give me something to work with but when you just feel numb.... It's like being in a bubble, the rest of the world is going on around you and you're not part of it. I have so much to be happy about & grateful for but when I'm like this it's like you're taunted by it, you know other people have it so much worse yet all the joy & hope & happiness is sucked out of you & you're just left with an empty void.

I'm hoping today will be a better day.
 
mackem_jo2 said:
My anxiety has been much better since my cpn gave me some cbt sheets to try, going through what I'm worrying about & logically figuring out how much is true & how much is me putting a negative slant on things. I don't use the sheets now, I just try to go through the process in my head.

The worst thing for me is that I'm not necessarily worrying about anything & I don't need to have any kind of meaningful trigger, it's just like the shutters come down & I'm left with nothingness. Sadness & anxiety at least give me something to work with but when you just feel numb.... It's like being in a bubble, the rest of the world is going on around you and you're not part of it. I have so much to be happy about & grateful for but when I'm like this it's like you're taunted by it, you know other people have it so much worse yet all the joy & hope & happiness is sucked out of you & you're just left with an empty void.

I'm hoping today will be a better day.
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My take is today is defined by how much you take in of what your body and mind can sense . The void is always the void but it has visitors in terms of emotions , thoughts and sensations . Life is no more than the momentary recognition of these and happiness lies in acceptance of them for what they are.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/8534703-The-Guest-House-by-Mewlana-Jalaluddin-Rumi
 
I don't suffer from depression so I can't really compare my situation with those that do but August is a really really tough month for me and my family.
I go to bed on 31st July fine and wake up on 1st August sad, miserable and like there is a cloud hanging over me.
Then on 1st September it's gone.
It's clearly all psychological and in no way do I want to de-tract from those that do suffer from depression, but if my bad month is even a slight, and I mean only slight insight into what it's like to have depression than I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to live with it.
I hope this doesn't sound patronising or insensitive, it's meant to be the complete opposite.
 
janey said:
I don't suffer from depression so I can't really compare my situation with those that do but August is a really really tough month for me and my family.
I go to bed on 31st July fine and wake up on 1st August sad, miserable and like there is a cloud hanging over me.
Then on 1st September it's gone.
It's clearly all psychological and in no way do I want to de-tract from those that do suffer from depression, but if my bad month is even a slight, and I mean only slight insight into what it's like to have depression than I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to live with it.
I hope this doesn't sound patronising or insensitive, it's meant to be the complete opposite.
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Do you have painful anniversaries in August? I have a 3 week spell across Jan and Feb where their birthdays fell, and a one week spell in the summer where their death days fell (different years), them being important people. Always grim even after all these years.
 
janiep said:
Do you have painful anniversaries in August? I have a 3 week spell across Jan and Feb where their birthdays fell, and a one week spell in the summer where their death days fell (different years), them being important people. Always grim even after all these years.
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Yeah, my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumour on 10th August, she died on 30th and its her birthday on 31st, she would have been 37.
But she was also pregnant so she was on life support for the last week of her life to give the baby a chance. The baby was born the day before Helen died on 29th August, she lived for two months then we lost her too.

It was 2005 so it's 10 years ago, it's always tough but somehow 10 years is making it more significant somehow. Your right it is grim no matter how long ago.
 
janiep said:
Do you have painful anniversaries in August? I have a 3 week spell across Jan and Feb where their birthdays fell, and a one week spell in the summer where their death days fell (different years), them being important people. Always grim even after all these years.
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August 10th for me.

Mam died that date in 2010. Still miss her dearly.

Falls on a bloody Monday this year too :-(
 
kensplace said:
Yes, my dog has kept me alive through some bad times with depression, including suicidal times in the past.
Not as bad now, but he is still a rock for me, but I am trying to reduce my dependency on him (whilst still loving him to bits) so I dont go over the edge when he does die.
Get yourself a intelligent little yorkie or something, worked wonders for me.
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Thankyou. I have an Old English Sheepdog coming tomorrow(!)
I think it will be very good for my wife who is struggling.
 
janey said:
Yeah, my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumour on 10th August, she died on 30th and its her birthday on 31st, she would have been 37.
But she was also pregnant so she was on life support for the last week of her life to give the baby a chance. The baby was born the day before Helen died on 29th August, she lived for two months then we lost her too.

It was 2005 so it's 10 years ago, it's always tough but somehow 10 years is making it more significant somehow. Your right it is grim no matter how long ago.
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Strewth. Big 'un this year. Blimey.

NewAdventuresInWiFi said:
August 10th for me.

Mam died that date in 2010. Still miss her dearly.

Falls on a bloody Monday this year too :-(
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It's tough, gan canny.
 
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