Alan Shearer's Meanest Tricks

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Shearer pays @mawky brockett to pick up his Chinese take away and deliver it to him in person.

Shearer pays @mawky brockett for his services by paying for his taxi fare and letting him eat his left overs.

@mawky brockett has commented that he's gettin paid double bubble cos gannin oot in a taxi is leik a day oot for him.
 


If I had the same number of tradesman continually coming through my house i'd be a grumpy bugger too.
 
Charmless Man said:
When he had an affair with Gabby Logan he told her, in no uncertain terms "You are responsible for your own orgasms, pet."
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Might be worth sticking an 'allegedly' in there. What with the current twitchiness of the SMB over libel potential!
 
Shearer had a mural painted on his bedroom wall of him naked, riding bareback on a unicorn through St. James Park.

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I've heard he has a wig in his sock drawer and wears it when he goes raiding allotments for his Sunday dinner veg.
His Mrs also makes him wear the wig, several elastic bands round his face and a mouthful of gobstoppers every Thursday for sex and they call it 'Beardsley Night'.
 
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