When we scored our 90th minute winner against the Mags...

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When the silky footed, mag slaying, vodka gobbling assassin smashed the ball into the onion sack in front of the onlooking rusty, pale Jeff Whitley, I'm afraid the ecstasy was short lived when it dawned on me that earlier that day along with my morning panda pop I enjoyed 3 crispy rashers of the arse of a pig and was in fact better off dead than red.
 
As the net bulged, I could only focus with envy behind the goal on the residents of Byker, Denton, Benton, Benwell, Heaton, Walker, Westerhope, Elswick and Scotswood in the knowledge that Sunderland is a shithole
You forgot about Cowgate,Blakelaw,Arthurs Hill,Cruddas Park and Kenton
 
I couldnt celebrate i was worried that jordi iliteracy would be shown up on a dirty bedsheet
 
My celebrations were abruptly cut short as Johnson thundered home the winner as I realised that Sting wasn't in fact a massive lads fan and that he had wrote the song 'walking on the moon' as a tribute to their biggest fan Neil Armstrong because he could see the 'Tooooon from tha Moooooon
 
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