Thankyou for what you did and the many many people you have inspired

4th October 1977 - 6th January 2008

About this time last year I had a good long look at myself and didn't like what I saw.... so I thought I'd change it bit by bit - starting with giving up smoking, I mean if I could do that I could do anything surely? So on 29th December 2007 I stopped smoking for the umpteenth time that year. Anyone that has done this will know that a/ it's bloody hard and b/ the first few days and weeks are the hardest so me and my wife booked to go to Paris the first weekend in January to treat ourselves and to help me try and get through the initial cravings... which was brilliant because when we landed our taxi didn't turn up for ages and it was a crap flight so the first thing I wanted to do was go and find a cigarette! However that soon eased and what followed was the most beautiful time imaginable. Having never been to Paris before my eyes were wide open at the beauty of Notre Dame, The Eiffel Tower, The Arc de Triomphe, Paris's many long streets however one place, Sacre Coeur, stands out in my mind - the view across the capital on the most glorious winter day, the sun sharpening even the furthest buildings, it was just absolutely magical. We (me and Sarah, my wife) walked and talked for miles that weekend - nothing was on the agenda, we weren't in a hurry to do or see anything and yet somehow we did and saw everything....sheer perfection. I remember vividly coming home and logging on to RTG and finding out that Hazey had passed away sometime over the weekend, I was gutted, somehow I thought he might have got through it, some miracle cure would be invented just in time, he seemed so positive, even towards the end, it was gut wrenching , even for someone like me who had never known this lad on any level other than reading his blogs and waiting and praying - it seemed so wrong, a waste of a special talent...it still does. I've said it before and I've said it to Mel (who I've got to know well over this past year) that I didn't stop smoking because of Hazey but his life has helped inspire me to keep away from cigarettes since.

So having successfully negotiated the first few weeks of smoke free life I decided I would join the rest of the group who would attempt to do the C2C later that year. At first I looked at the schedule and read previous accounts of C2C'ers and it just seemed, well, daunting, distant, impossible even, but I began building myself up to it by putting hours in on the exercise bike at our local gym... I didn't even know whether it was doing much good but me and my ipod developed a beautiful friendship and thanks to the unconventional sounds of Radiohead, Moby, Coldplay etc I slowly started to believe I could make a good fist of this bike ride. This new found enthusiasm was further heightened in March when Michael and Patch got in touch and we began training  - we shared the same fears but also the same determination and together with John and various Davids we built up the miles, slowly but surely developing our confidence as well as some good friendships until the day dawned and we all assembled at the SOL for transportation to Whitehaven. I remember looking down at my bike and thinking "140 odd miles on that ... oh dear what have I done" The next 3 days were an absolute joy - hard work, yes almost certainly however aside from my marriage it was the greatest achievement of my life and I made 20 odd really good friends who know exactly what I mean. I'm going to do it again next year and also have a bash at the Great North Run, why the hell not? Its amazing what you can do when you pack in smoking.........here's to another year of achievements and successes, after all we never know how short life may be.

On the face of it the weather's been crap this year, but that wouldn't suggest that I'd had a crap year, this year has been bloody amazing... Looking back over the few blogs I did at the start of the year made me realise how special life is (and how crap my blogs are but thats a different story)

Hazey would've been 31 last weekend

God bless ya mate, thanks for everything and thanks for putting your sister and her family in my life... she's amazing

Wow! What a blooming week. Plenty of cycling with and without some fantastic people who I really hope I can consider friends soon. A wonderful trip to Paris with some lovely friends and my lovely wife (she's the loveliest by far) we ambled through the streets of Paris without a care in the world, ducking into cafes for coffee when the rain came and continuing on when the sun shone again, we did spend a bit of money getting there and match tickets etc. but the irony is the best part of the mini-break didn't cost a penny... priceless, you can't buy happiness. Unfortunately the break was spoilt by a bunch of tossers on a football pitch who looked more interested in well, fuck all, they just didn't look interested..... and then West Ham at home - talk about your drama!! Andy Reid you have made me and thousands very very happy today (and yesterday and Saturday and tomorrow and,,, you get the picture?) Haven't blogged for ages because of my life being pretty hectic and all that but just felt I should add my own take on Saturday night and the wonderful event to celebrate a wonderful man. The Family Hazey are truly special people and its easy to see where Graeme might have drawn his strength and courage from.... if I could leave a legacy even one hundredth of the size of that man, I would indeed be truly satisfied with my life....

I was cycling along a bridleway/footpath from Dalton Park to South Hetton and stumbled upon this mini statue thing with Lord Byron's words inscribed on top - randomly brilliant! (I know its not that random)

Between two worlds life hovers like a star,

‘Twixt night and morn, under the horizon's verge.

How little do we know that which we are!

How less what we may be!

Well after however long I finally took my weight down to 12st 5 lb which is under what I needed to be in order to be a Gold Member of Weight Watchers (check me out!!) .... I don't actually know what it means except that I don't have to pay anymore to go!! Had a lovely ride yesterday into Sunderland via the W2W (is that a poor mans C2C?) to put my bike in for its first service and meet my lovely wife for lunch (just as a side point I was git excited about seeing her through the day as we don't normally get that opportunity). Lunch was at Chaplins where they do 2 meals for a fiver, bargain!! and then off back to collect my bike and away up to South Shields via the coastal path... its beautiful, tranquil and everything.

Hope to meet Patch and Cheeky Monkey (sounds like a really bad childrens show doesn't it?) for a training ride on Sunday and also ParkMaverick for a training pint sometime soon...haven't really got much else to write and I know it would be boring shite if I tried to go on any further....

at Soccarena the other night, I was inconsolable.... the next morning I rang and they confirmed what I had been dreading, they hadn't found it :-( Still. they took my number and said they'd ring me back if they found it.... and here's the good bit, not only did they find my ring but Lord Richard of Ord himself rang me back to inform me of the good news.... and not only that but I cycled over and back hence giving mesel an extra 11 miles to my training, it was like double-bubble, only triple (if you know what I mean) I am at this point going to abandon my (and I think I've referred to it as this previously) Bridget Jones stylee statistics update as it must jus tbe plain boring, needless to say the weight is still going down as rapidly as the sponsor money is going up (for the Weight Watchers experts amongst us I am now 2lb from my "goal" weight, woo-hoo)....and no, I haven't started smoking again, infact I am now beginning to hate it;  Never say never but it would take a massive turnaround and a lot of alcohol for me to go anywhere near the dreaded weed again. My brother is over again at the weekedn which should be nice, full of cricket talk and watching (we'll claim the tele at 10 tonight for the 3rd days play) and doubtless a few pints, culminating in a trip to the SOL on Sunday (probably the bit I'm dreading most)

Wherever y'are whatever y'up to have a good'un this weekend, see ya next week

HELLO!! Well I'm on cloud nine or somewhere near it as I did my first 20 miler today on the bike, it was beautiful. Starting at my home in Hetton I travelled through Easington Lane and then Haswell before turning left in Shotton Colliery and then left again down towards Peterlee, on through Peterlee to Horden, Grants Houses and Easington Colliery before deciding to do a bit of off-roading in the grassy hills that must have once surrounded the pit there (I'm sorry I really don't recall where the pit was but sure it was there-ish) and then doubling back via a nice tarmac bit back to the top of Easington Colliery. From there I found a nice little back road that took me to the North side of Easington Village and then under the A19, through S Hetton, The Lane and finally back into Hetton; 20.36 miles - I nearly jumped for joy. Now I don't know at what level I'm supposed to be at training wise by now but it felt good all the same, nah fuck it, really really good. As far as the boring statistics side of things go (I know it's crap, should I bin them?) it makes good reading but it ain't good to read if yer nah warra mean?!? Here goes;

Nice warm exercise bike miles cycled this week: 73

Real miles cycled this week: 35

Weight lost this week: 2lb again

Weight lost since Christmas: 14 & 1/2 lbs

Time since last tab: 9 weeks, 2 days and a bit

Sponsor Money raised so far: (This is the good bit) £1,008.50

I am so chuffed with the sponsorship thing, its just amazing, peoples generosity is immense!!

 Had a lovely evening with Sarah (my wife) last night. I was on the laptop in the sitting room and she was watching tele but there was nowt on so we switched the tele off and I played music to her and we just relaxed, it was wondrous, just went through my itunes library picking off different songs that just chill the mind, things like Shine on you Crazy Diamond, Fields of Gold (The Sting one) - I even played some Dido but one of the best chill out songs (and not particularly for the lyrics cos they're a bit sad) has got to be This Years Love by David Gray - pure quality!

I want to finish with an admission that yesterday on my bike ride I felt truly ashamed.... I was cycling downhill in Peterlee when up ahead I spotted a man sat on a bench rocking back and forth in a disturbed manner, so I gave him a wide berth because of my preconceptions - as I passed the lad (who was probably down syndrome, I don't know enough about this) he looked up, smiled and said "alreet young'un?" so I said "alright mate back" obviously, but I must have looked shocked. As I cycled off I had a lump in my throat as I had been guilty of doing what I always hoped I wouldn't do and judge people on face value, its shocking and I'm truly pissed off with myself - I'm going back that way next week and if he's there I'm going to sit with him for a bit....

One of life's greatest pleasures for me is music, it commands my moods often changing the greyest skies into the longest day of summer (or vice versa if Radiohead are involved eh Mel?) Just having a conversation with my brother, well its not actually its emails going back and forth (does that count as a conversation?) about something that would normally be quite laborious (sp?) like driving is made into a perfect and splendid time with a good dose of music to help pass the journey - I love it! I'm sat in the office with a playlist on in the background and each song evokes its own vivid memories in my mind whether it be travelling back from Leicester City (w2-0 Hysen, Connolly I think), New Years Day last year (Bohemian Rhapsody, 3 kids and 3 adults doing our best "Wayne's World" in a People Carrier) or the happiest day of my life, 22nd July 2007 (Embrace, Gravity - my wedding incase you were thinking "We didn't beat the Mags inJuly") or even painting my spare room (David Gray - Please Forgive Me).... does anyone else link music so strongly to something whether it's significant or not? Talking of David Gray, when he first "arrived" on the scene I didn't get his music (not as in "buy" as in "dig"... I didn't "dig" his music) and now however many years later (possibly 5 or 6) I think he's a blooming genius, strange that. I think its an appreciation of lyrics that I seem to have now that I never used to possess

"I got half a mind to scream out loud, I got half a mind to die, so I won't ever have to lose you girl, won't ever have to say goodbye, I won't ever have to lie..... won't ever have to say goodbye"

It's probably nothing special to anyone else but I just love things like that and another that my brother informed me about - True Love Waits (I've whined on about this one before but anyhow), one verse is based on a true story Thom (Yorke) read in the paper, about a 6yr old boy who got trapped in an attic, with only  sweets to eat?

"And true love waits in haunted attics, And true love lives on lollipops and crisps"

Love owt like that - pure genius.

So I was at the gym last night and a mate came in and said (he works there it wasn't a random popping in) "do you fancy playing footy at 10 tonight?" He may as well have said "can I twat you around the head with a spade please" the way I was feeling... I had been out on the bike earlier in the day which was good don't get me wrong, but then after an hour and a half at the gym... well, you know what I mean? Inexplicably therefore I found myself nodding in agreement and before I knew it I was at Soccarena (I did have me tea in between but for dramatic effect it sounded better the way I described it)  - and guess what? It was fucking brilliant, I had the best game I've had in a while and even scored a few goals to add to my delight - brilliant, absolutely briliant. Its hard to put into words but I've just sent this email and it pretty much sums it up

"It was one of those when I really didn't want to but almost forced myself to play and thoroughly enjoyed it, not just the goals, its more about the amount of air my lungs hold these days... people take that sort of stuff for granted but it continues to be a wonder to me that I can enjoy exercise and games without feeling like I'm going to die. As I've said before numerous times, its not rocket science - but then again I'm not a rocket scientist ;-)"

Apologies for paraphrasing myself but there we have it, even someone as simple as me can manage to (eventually) work out the following equation

SMOKING + CRAP FOOD + NEE EXERCISE = ME BEING A FAT CUNT WHO CAN'T BREATHE PROPERLY

I ventured from the warm climates of an exercise bike in my local gym to the real thing this week.... I felt like a kid who had been at nursery and just started at Primary school - if I could have burst into tears and screamed "I don't like it Mammy I wanna go back to Nursery" I would've... unfortunately I couldn't.....fortunately I found why I hated it so much - the bike that I used was really crap, you know the kind you'd lend to your neighbour, the last resort in bikes (just after a penny farthing in style and design) the Clive Clarke of the cycle world - so I bought a new one and my world is a happy place once more!!

Nice warm exercise bike miles cycled this week: 78

Real miles cycled this week: 11 (its a start ok?)

Weight lost this week: 2lb (I am now 12 stone summit, sounds bloody brilliant!)

Weight lost since Christmas: 12 & 1/2 lbs

Time since last tab: 7 weeks, 5 days and a few hours

Sponsor Money raised so far: £362.00

Apologies for the boring shite that I write but it does help me so much.... to those that are doing the C2C with me I'll introduce myself as follows....... "Hi I'm Paul, the boring cunt"

and then my wife decided she had a similar illness.... pah! I scoffed at her ridiculous suggestion that her "cold" was anywhere near as bad as my more serious condition, honestly she's such an attention seeker ;-) Due to the aforementioned I could only do 67 miles on me bike this week which, when you're trying to "up" the ante isn't very encouraging, ah well fuck it, there's always next week. On a more positive note Mr Park Maverick (gonna call him Mr PM in future cos its quite a bit to type) got the sponsor forms out to us and having not been in contact much with the outside world £189 is not a bad start me thinks and it also gives me an extra column in my (really boring) stats which now read

Miles cycled this week: 67 (due to man flu)

Weight lost this week: 1/2 lb (at least I lost)

Weight lost since Christmas: 10 & 1/2 lbs

Time since last tab: 7 weeks, 2 hours and 32 minutes

Thats about it really.... gonna have a go at topping 100 mile this week, good enough milestone to start with.... I need (in me own head) to be doing the 136 miles in the evenings after work at least a month before the race. I've also got a match report to do after the Pompey excursion and I'm hoping that it'll be my first away report win since taking over the responsibility from Herts who is a cracking writer by the way, I could only aspire to be as good as that....

Have a lovely week people... :-)

so says Thom Yorke (genius).... its a beautiful track I have to say, some say Radiohead are depressing (including my own wife) yet I find them strangely addictive and brilliantly reflective. My brother, who, (strangely enough after reading Harry Gilwoods blog) has just been back to God's country for the weekend, first introduced me to Christopher O'Riley's musical genius. He (O'Riley not me bruv) is a classical pianist who has recreated Yorke's brilliance on his aforementioned instrument and the results are quite simply beautiful in my opinion, this passage is taken from a BBC website and sums it up quite well -

"Christopher O'Riley's Radiohead transcriptions are in another league, that small category of crossover that actually works. Radiohead's music, created collaboratively by its five members, is verging on classical music to begin with. The music uses various unlikely time signatures and quirky electronic instruments. And the production is impeccable; there's hardly a note out of place.

Chris is a formidable pianist with equally wide-ranging tastes, as he demonstrates in his concert appearances and on his own radio show, "From the Top." He's also an obsessive Radiohead fan who manages to do what the best arrangers do. He finds qualities in the original songs that will translate to the new medium. These solo-piano versions of the songs aren't Muzak or spacey noodling. Listen to Chris's reharmonizations in "Everything in its Right Place," and in George Harrison's "Blue Jay Way," and you'll see what I mean."

if you ever fancy kicking back, chilling out and been taken to another place by music, give O'Riley's work a go.

ANYHOW, back on planet earth - since my mind was made up about joining the C2C  I have been in training at the gym, as well as packing in smoking and dieting! (fucking silly cunt aren't I?), well I kind of figured in for a penny, in for a pound y'know? So latest status is as follows:                                              

Bike miles last week: 90

Weight loss last week: fuck all (don't go there)

Weight loss since Christmas (10 lbs)

Number of weeks/days without a fag: 6 weeks and 2 days 

So there you are, bit of advice by the way... Park Maverick has doled out the sponsor forms for the C2C so if you know me, or I know you, or I think I may have met you once... I'm after your dosh so get your fucking hand in your pocket. Going back to the music thing, I was told by an expert in a magazine that the music you listen to whilst exercising goes a long way to achieveing your goal, if you are doing high energy shit like running and that you need to listen to high energy shit (like, whatever that might be) ....Its a load of bollocks cos I gan like the clappers to.... erm, the aforementioned Radiohead, David Gray and Moby mainly! If you can lose yourself in music you're halfway there in my opinion, the exercise just kind of follows on like a painful side effect.

I have a terrible knack of using brackets all the time when I write (had you noticed) so I found this piece by Andy Dunn in Sundays NOTW fucking hilarious for more than the obvious mag bashing element....

"All the brackets were here yesterday. Mike Ashley (Owner), Chris Mort (Chairman), Dennis Wise - Executive Director (football), Tony Jimenez - Vice President (Player Recruitment), Kevin Keegan (Manager) and so were Newcastle United (shambles). John Carew (hat trick) exposed this sorry side for what it has become"..... the article finishes with the line ......"because Newcastle are in trouble (deep)"

Sorry Mags, but that is fucking brilliant stuff! Anyway must dash for now, have just got back from the gym and my legs are knacking.... bath and bed for me

Weird title for a first blog I know but I started thinking about what on earth I could write and as I was thinking of suitable material I realised how much of what I have done and what I am doing (and what I will do) is inspired by other people.... does this make me a good listener or just a fucking copycat?

Like ParkMaverick (cheers marra) I want to use this as a kind of diary to help with C2C training, I must have a little boast at this point cos I have packed in the fags for nearly 6 weeks now and have turned a massive corner in my life (I hope) I guess I was on the slippery slope to whatever was destined for me (woah too deep, sorry) but I realise how much I've been missing out on all these years. I didn't know it was possible to do massive amounts of exercise without feeling like I'm about to collapse at the end, I didn't realise food could taste or smell that good or walking through a park you can actually smell flowers and dog shit at the same time.

I don't want to sound like a hanger on or anything but I did follow the late, (fucking great)Hazey's blogs silently and from a distance... I never felt that it was my place to say or ask him anything incase I was in some way bothering him - now I feel frustrated that I never did... weird eh? Its weird how one thing sticks in my mind from all he wrote and it was something like "everything is true that is said about Macmillan, they fucking rock" - a moment which inspired me ultimately to change my mind from offering to be the support vehicle for the C2C to having a go at the ride, I mean, fuck it I will do it if it means crawling the last however many miles I will get there so anybody that knows me better keep well clear or you'll be talked into sponsoring me a lot more than you thought you would in the first place!

So thats 2 people that I can gladly say have inspired me to one thing or another, (ParkMaverick and Hazey) and I've never met either of them! There are loads more... just sit and think about it for 5-10 minutes about how many people in your life inspire you to do stuff, simple or otherwise - you'll be fucking amazed! Guess thats it for now, don't want to write too much but I will if its ok tell you a bit more about me and stuff in the days and weeks to come? Roll on Saturday and another MASSIVE 6 point clash

HA'WAY me bonny lads....