alright there?
Well, haven't updated for a few days even though I didn't have a reason not to. Never got to go home early on F4riday as the arab fellas were in to have a look at the boring work I was doing. They generally liked it but there were a couple of changes which had to be done for saturday, but very nicely my boss said he'd do it on Saturday. Unfortunately the fellas didnt fuck off as he gassed on and fucking on about various photographers when me and the other lad in the office were cursing, just thinking 'pppllllleeeeease fuck off'. Got to go a lovely 10 minutes early, which was fucking shit. They wished us a merry christmas but got a bit confused as the standard response is 'you too' but I doubt they would be celebrating it so just had to say 'errr, thanks'. Popped down to Eastbourne on New Years eve. Passed a Llama park in ashdowne forest on the way, which both me and my missus were pleased to see. Found a leaflet in the travelodge when we got there, you can take a llama for a walk through the forest for an hour and a half. Fucking brilliant, we shall be doing that soon, sounds ace. My missus told me she read something about how travelodge had cancelled an idea where you could have a christmas shopping assistant go with you in to town. Their plan was scuppered by all the dwarfs being in pantomime, which means they were intending to send people out with dwarfs, presumably in little santas elf outfits. Fuck me, what a crackers idea but almost has 'genius' written over it. I would fucking love to have had a wee dressed up dwarf to take me round the town, hopefully he would do little dances and songs as you walked down the street.
Made it to Beachy Head. It was very cold indeed and pretty much deserted (last christmas eve there were a fair few people out for walks). We went for a walk along the cliffs. The chill wind reminded me of walking the dogs along Marsden cliffs when I was younger, very bracing. Just stood and hugged the missus with the distant sound of waves far below and the lovely scenery all around. Deep breath. Another one. And another. Words aren't coming out, even though I want them to. Finally they pop out 'Would you marry me?'. Thankfully she said yes straight away and was quite surprised but very pleased. It felt perfect, just stood up there on our own, hugging each other in the face of the strong wind. I was very pleased I did it. We walked on and had a bite to eat in the pub further along. I really admire the fact she isn't scared by what faces me in the future. I was reading more in to my liver condition and it aint great, no doubt about that but I'm very calm about these things now. I really don't have anything to moan about, yeah I could say 'boo hoo, it's so unfair thta I won't live as long as other people' but there's plenty of people would take my situation over what they have. There was a nice bit in my book on zen which said (roughly) that thinking of how things could be or what you could have just makes things worse, it's all about living in the now and accepting what you have. I could go in to more detail about that as it just sounds a bit 'durrrr' obvious, but I don't want to bore you more than i need to. But anyway, I can't imagine being happier than with the girlfriend in the life I have. We had a wee think about when and where it might all be and things. Decided on spring 2008 and somewhere in kent/sussex. There's no way I'd get married up home, it means nowt to my missus and it means very little to me any more, here is my home and I think it will be my home for very many years as I adore it. My missus remembered somewhere where you can hire out some nice farm animals for occasions, I'd like that. Especially geese. Plenty of geese. But that's all a long way ahead from now.
Popped to the local pub of the evening in lower dicker (yes, there's also an upper dicker) and it was very pleasant, but much like last year had a few obvious lesbians in. Not that there's owt wrong with that but it just seems odd in a tiny village pub.
anyway, I need to go and make my tea. |
