just went straight home on Friday night. A bickering session was developing at 6 between my boss and the techy guy over something that was just stupidly mundane. I hate this attitude of self-importance that permeates this industry. We only make pretty fucking pictures, nothing more. Tedious. Earlier in the day we'd had more arguments over very little. Just sit with headphones on when I see one developing, I know all the usual suspects so well I can spot an argument at least 10 minutes before it actually starts.
Rest of my weekend was spent just reading, pretty much. Powering through books at the minute. Started reading 'Vengeance', which is what the film Munich is based on. Provides a nice change of scenery when my head has been burst too much by the stuff in my science book. Topper the science book I'm reading like, takes my brain far away from the mundane of the everyday.
I'm getting nervous already as I have a hospital appointment tomorrow morning. Even though it is just like seeing the doctor it makes me a hundred times more nervous. Maybe because it involves a hospital. They terrify me so much, even being in one makes me feel sick. He'll probably be annoyed that I've only had one blood test instead of the two he wanted but after my experience of waiting 2 hours at beckenham, I am rather reluctant to be doing so again. Annoyingly my missus went to the doctors (same as mine) saw the other doctor, she needs a blood test and doctor said to make an appointment at the surgery. Why can't I have it done at the fucking surgery you cunts?
Really odd looking very low cloud is passing by.
Sometimes I just think it would be easier if I had the camera test once every couple of years to check for bowel cancer and the rest I'll sort out myself. I don't really need all these fucking drugs and fannying about. I know my condition better than any consultant can know it, I've lived with it for 17 years, after all. Of course, they could give me a shout if there was some new crazy drug that worked wonders on the market, but it's kind of depressing that it is all the same drugs they had 15 years ago. Must be shit being the consultant in the field, it's so straightforward. Take these drugs, if you have a reaction take some other drugs, if you have a bad spell take these steroids. They can't cure anything so it is purely damage limitation on their part. One thing I will ask is to be taken off these steroids as I'm sick of them now. Carrying the extra weight is fucking shit, I've almost broken a couple of pairs of trousers, some of my coats and shirts don't fit and I can't wear half my t-shirts because I currently am carrying the extra weight from the steroids. Which is just fucking shit. I currently weigh 15 fucking stone. I mean I've always been quite dense, I hover around close to the 14 stone mark normally but 15 stone? fuck off. |
