quite a dull weekend. Just started playing half life 2. Just had a bit of a fancy for playing a first person shooter last week so got my flatmate to get it all set up. Kinda wish I hadnt, I've been on the thing all weekend pretty much. Had a canny wander round on saturday. chipped round the village and thought I'd have a nose round the 'european market' they had on. Turns out it was 5 stalls. pointless. Had a bit of a stroll round the parish graveyard. I realise that sounds a bit 'goth' but it's really pretty. very very old graves (people arent buried there any more) and it's all a bit wild and overgrown. chock full of bluebells. what is a little odd is that the path is made from old gravestones as well. I often go and read in there in the summer, so quiet and pitcuresque, it certainly doesnt feel like being in london.
Fucking dreading a hospital test weekend after next. have to go and have a camera up the arse and down the throat. really fucking terrifies me. I don't like hospitals anyway (had a few sojourns in em in my teens) but I'm terrified of this test. Had it done when I was 17 and the sedative had absolutely no effect, it was terribly distressing. It's the camera down the throat I'm most dreading. I have a very bad gagging reflex anyway so the thought of having a fucking huge pipe shoved down it isnt appealling. The first time I had it done they basically just had to force it down. think part of the distress is just the assault on your dignity really. Obviously the camera up the arse is particularly undignified. On top of all that you have to be on laxitives for the 2 days beforehand and cant really eat, so I'll be crippled with hunger. I just want it done with (still have to have them every 5-6 years) so I can enjoy my summer.
Fuck me, I aint half scared.
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