I had a very relaxed weekend. Well, I say relaxed, that is not including the absolute nightmare of a journey I had to my 'do' in croydon on friday night. The 119 bus ride felt like it was lasting forever as croydon high street was closed then it turned off the main road unexpectedly and i had to walk for fucking ages to get to the pub. I even almost went fully arse over tit after tripping on a big bulge in the middle of the tarmac pavement.
Tried ayoga class for beginners at my gym on sunday, fuck me if that isn't hard work. Good stuff like but surprisingly really takes it out of you. I'm going to have a go at the proper class but I reckon I'll be proper fucked after that.
Had avisit to my consultant this morning, which, as ever, made me fucking brick it. Hospitals......*shudder*. he was really good although he did stress if my azathiopine doesn't work then they are all out of options as to control my gut and obviously leaves me wide open for the long term effects of it, i.e. bowel cancer. to be honest, I knew 10 years ago there was nothing they could do to help me and it seems nothing much has changed in the world of medical research and that. If I have to take my chances on my own then that is just the way it will be, I've never been hospitalised with an attack in over a decade and most of that time was when I wa sliving a lot less healthier than I am now, so I feel I can do my own thing and maybe try and rely on other techniques to keep my gut calm. I find it scary to think I have such an overwhelming chance of bowel cancer, but, that's just what you get doled out, can't change it, as much as I'd like to. But I just have to live my life well in the carefree times that I have for now, when that changes, as it almost certainly will, then I just deal with it at the time. I can't spend my life worrying as that is just a total waste. And who knows, I may get jammy and never develop bowel cancer.
But enough of that shite, I'm just relieved my appointment is done as it puts me right on edge, going to hospitals.
Normal service shall be resumed tomorrow.....
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