Today at work was fucking shit. I just suddenly appreciated how fucking shit and meaningless my actual job is. I do enjoy it when I'm busy but I would estimate that I spend about 75% of my time twiddling my thumbs and after my weekend I just realised how much of a waste that is. Obviously being in full-time employment means you can't kick back and read a book when there is nowt on, oh no, you have to pretend to be working. I mean, why? It isn't my fault that I don't have enough work on, the management should get off their arses and get more jobs in for me to keep me occupied. 'What should I do today? maybe I'll make some texture masks that I don't need, or perhaps create some brushes that might, but probably won't, become useful in the future?'. That is just shit. I'm so conscious of time when it comes to my social life yet I have almost found it a joke the amount of time I am fucking bored at work. But it isn't a joke, I need to do something about it. I've consdiered asking my company if I can go freelance and work from home, popping into the office when it requires it, that way I can actually appreciate my spare time, do some drawing, reading, walking, fucking anything but stare at a drab office wall in dreary old bromley. It's either that or I change job but to be honest I don't want to go into a full-on high-stress job. Someone has said I should apply for a texture artist job that is available at one of the movie special effects places up town but I'm not toally certain that is what I want, all that stress and deadlines. I guess what I really want is just some fucking time for myself! But don't we all really, eh? Getting home of an evening at half 6 and by the time I've done my chores and had my tea I have the grand total of a couple of hours that are actually mine. Curse of the modern world eh? I guess it is more important for me as there's a reasonable chance I won't reach retirement age to be able to enjoy my free time that I've earned during my life of work.
I'm sick of thinking about this for now, time for a shit, a read and who knows, maybe a wank.
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