Hello there my lovelies,
How are you all? Good, I hope. Well, I’ve had an ‘interesting’ day. I had a fab nights sleep but my body obviously has a little problem with shifting from 2 hours a night to 8. I woke up and just couldn’t ‘wake up’, I wandered in to the lounge in a daze that I just couldn’t shake. This morphed into weird extreme tension, which was very, well, uncomfortable. I just sat hugging the quilt feeling, well, tense! I eventually opted to have a dose of the very mild morphine solution that I have and it chilled me right out and put me back on track. Part of the reason I had such a good evening was I decided to have a dose of lactulose in order to ‘soften my stools’ (gotta love and hate that word, just say it ‘stooooools’. Such a fabulous hospital-only word) and have a little ‘clear out’. Clear out is exactly what it did. I only got up twice during the night to have a loose shit. And they were mountainous. Big piles of shit with the consistency of half melted soft ice cream. It kinda looked like one of those vile toffee ice creams in colour. They felt magnificent to release, I could view the pan contents with pride and got back to bed with a contented smile of release relief.
This horrid tension led me to cancelling a visit from the in-laws, which I didn’t want to do as I was really looking forward to seeing them, they really are lovely people. They’d just got to Beckenham an arl, bless em.
Bugger, I’ve fucked this up, didn’t finish it yesterday and so I suppose I can chronicle todays events but all the tenses will sound wrong. Hey ho.
Well, I shamed last nights dumping efforts by doing a shit the likes of which the gods have never seen. The physical amount being a source of great pride, I kinda wish someone else could have seen this to just see their face as they mutter ‘jesus wept’. Don’t worry, I didn’t wake the missus to show her, honest. No really, I didn’t. You could have re-enacted the scene from Jurassic Park with Jeff goldblum as they go and see the sick triceratops ‘that is one big pile of shit’, indeed it was Jeff. I needed a sit down and recover after that epic emptying so I made my way to the front room. I added a bit more content to my deflated guts with a bowl of Cheerios. I watched some programmes I had recorded then, somewhat unwisely, fell asleep on the settee. Woke at 5 am with severe acid reflux. It had travelled quite far down the windpipe. There may be trouble ahead…. Here comes the vomit. I didn’t have time to get out big metal sick bowls from the kitchen so I just had to unload on the table while frantically shouting ‘Liz!...Liz!’ but I had shut the bedroom door so it took a while to penetrate the door and wake her up. She came rushing in to be greeted by the sight of a table full of vom while I’m still going at it. She rushed for the sick bowl and got it under me quick smart. The stomach kept spasming due to the nature of the acid in windpipe, it wouldn’t be happy until I was totally empty. I filled half way up the very wide and deep metal bowl before it started to ease. It kept trying to make me do more but there was absolutely not a scrap in there. Then came that weird euphoria as your body realises it has survived puking without choking. Phew. What a fucking nightmare.
Hmmm, I may not finish this even tonight, will this ever get online?
Morning came round and I felt weak (due to no food being in my stomach) and fucking shit. Absolute pile of wank. The missus headed off to sort out washing at the launderette due to our washing machine packing up (and it would be the time I go and fucking shit myself and on the bathroom rug, when we have a non-functional washing machine. I could regal you with my shitting myself tale but it may have to wait).
I’m missing out quite a few events here but I think I should cut my losses for now or else this could go on forever.
Just had a lovely night walk, saw a few stars, wish I could see the milky way again like I did down at the coast. Soon, hopefully. I’m coming up north in January.
Dreams so dark but fleeting, they don’t compare to my waking bliss,
So warm and loved, every embrace firing my soul,
The majesty of the human heart, incomparable in nature,
But a product that only the wonder of nature could birth,
The power that made this incomparable cosmos of infinite wonderment,
A spark of that same glory resides within the human heart,
My mind swims at just taking in the greatness of that inner beauty,
As it lays its spark upon me, I breathe in that wonder,
Give myself to its power and feel born within,
Your embrace, come, let me fall in to it once more. |
