alright there?
Well, I had the worst night ever. I slept for a grand total of 20 whole minutes during the night and caught an hour this morning. I tried everything, with telly, without, with music...all failed. I'd taken my steroids too late and they were making my heart race quite spectacularly. Took them a lot earlier today but have mainly spent today on the settee grabbing the odd nap while feeling weirdly nervous/tense due to sleep depravation. Awful feeling, I really don't like it. I tried taking sleeping tablets and everything...no effect. Hopefully tonight will be more successful, I really hope so, I could do with a few hours uninterrupted sleep.
I've only popped out once for a walk in the park which perked me up quite a bit, beautiful day, I thoroughly enjoyed looking at the trees in the breeze, the squirrels in the bins, the ravens trying to carry food that was too big for then and a few sit downs. I love looking at creeping/crawling ivy (whatever its called). A building going to ruin next to the main house has it creeping over it, it was probably the servants quarters back in the day. To see it creeping up, eating in to mans structures fascinates me. I'd love to see a city after a thousand years when nature has begin reclaiming it, all we ever do is just temporary, nature will take it back one day. I loved the scene at the end of Logans Run where they come across a deserted Washington DC (and that topper english actor whos name escapes me who lives with hods of cats....brilliant). It's all covered in greenery, the original buildings still discernible but on the way to being consumed. I remember when they shut a road permanently in Boldon off one of the roundabouts. We used to drive past it to go to the Asda there (I remember that being built and being hailed as some kind of marvel) regularly and I enjoyed over the years watching nature taking the road back, it made me smile in my youth. I used to sit on seaburn beach, as well as other places, and imagine the landscape without all the man made stuff on, how different it would be and how amazing it would be to just visit a time without people. I suppose I've always partially desired seeing the world without the human influence. Whenever I go up in a plane I look down and see all the fields and think 'that's pretty' but then I think, what was england without all that? Mainly forest, which would have been cool. I kinda wish I could've seen an earlier more untouched age.
We stopped at the rough and ready clubhouse for food and drinks. Sausage, eggs, bean and chips for me. It were grand. Just as I was putting a chip in my mouth that urge hit me very badly indeed. I needed to shit IMMEDIATELY. And the toilets are outside public toilets which are the absolute worst in creation, I still have nightmares about the piss I had in there once *heaves*. Grim, really grim. SO that option is out. The car was parked about a third of a mile away, 'we have to go NOW'. Liz duly complied and went ahead to prep the car, I walked back using all my will power to force the poo back up the tubes a bit. I knew this was going to be close 'tuck your trousers in to your socks when you get back' I thought, prevent shit running out my trouser legs over the communal flat area and our flat. We approached and jumped out for liz to let me in (take your own keys next time Graeme) and a calmness struck, I suddenly knew it would be ok, I told liz to be calm, we got upstairs and I strolled in for a massive shit. The relief from having made it afterwards washed over me for about half an hour. 'thank you bowels, good lad' |
