Just thought I would do an entry about how I met Liz, my wife. Well, I was out as usual at the pub on a Friday with work mates. 2 for 1 in walkabout, it was January. One of the fellas missus turns up with another woman who looked uncomfortable amongst all these geeky fells, understandably so really. Her friend pushed her in to me for some reason and I got talking. And I talk fucking shite at the best of times but when faced with a pretty lady I just ramble like a trooper. I got to talking about the collapse of morality in 20th century warfare. In a Walkabout on a Friday night with 2 beers in my hands. I related the story of the My Lai massacre and the helicopter pilot who intervened to stop American troops committing more slaughter, ordering his door gunner to fire if they advanced and airlifted some villagers out. I talked about the moral courage to do that. On and on I went ‘err, fancy going out for a drink sometime?’ ‘no’, ‘right, err, would you like another drink then?’ ‘no’. Back came I and rambled some more about the kindly german of nanking and other such shit and two more beers ‘can I ask you out for a drink sometime?’ ‘go on then’. She hadn’t dated for years and was quite cold but we agreed to meet up in the george in croydon. She walked in but I’d already had a pint and announced ‘we’re not staying here, it’s full of old men tramps’ before dragging her out. We had a drink at a few places before I dared to say ‘errr, so, well, can I kiss you then?’ ‘*shy* yes’. We had a snog while the bouncers of a nearby pub sighed and told us to get a room etc. W emet up several times after and the conversation just clicked and she warmed a little.
Many dates went on before she asked me back to hers. We had a top night (I’ll leave it at that) but I made quite the faux pas. During the night I snuggled in in my sleep, she though ‘ahhh, how sweet’ as I moved my leg over hers leaving my cheeks separated on her leg. ‘that’s a nice cuddle in’ thought she. Then, because you can’t fart in front of each other for a good few months, I unleashed all I had stored away. She still says it was the loudest fart she has ever heard and it rattled across her legs, she felt my cheeks rattling. That was it, she slept in the lounge. I was lost as to why she had done so but found out later and felt rather ashamed, but I also laughed.
Time moved on and I was meant to go to her caravan at the start of May, unfortunately that clashed with the snooker world championship final so I rather terribly cried off in favour of the snooker. (*^_^*) (you can tell I hadn’t dated for a while either!
We continued having a great time and then I awoke on Christmas morning of that year and she called to tell me to look in my cupboard. Somehow she had sneaked in a gift of a Victorian writing cbinet filled with posh paper and a lovely pen. I was taken aback. Out dropped a scrap of paper with it, written on a torn edge of notepaper, I glanced at it and it simply said ‘I love you’. I collapsed to the floor to sit down and take that all in, tears rolled and rolled, someone loved a fucking cunt like me. I txted her to tell her I loved her too and things became very ‘sure’ therafter.
Intensity grew and she stayed with me through some dark hospital times which made me sure she was just so right in every way, what had I done to deserve this? She drove me in the middle of the night when I called her to take me to hospital because I was puking green shit and not very well at all ( got a go on the morphine though….ace! followed by ‘I love you , you know *descending in to gibberish*’ ‘go to sleep she told me and stroked my hand as I fell under the opiate spell.
She really did rescue me from the bitter and lonely fate I thought awaited me, truly my angel had come to and lifted me. She’ll always be my angel, my protector, my love, my heart and soul, my little smiling, beautiful lady, never would harm touch me again with her at my side. I was bulletproof. And my little angel has pulled me through this ordeal, even when she felt so low herself, she propped me, drove me on, held my hand and watched me sleep.
Nuff for now, more later |
