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| First off, spav, try out drybones ( a hidden character) on mariokart, in cart number 2, he fucking rocks! Sorry, geek talk over :) I've had a smashing few days, mos spent laughing like a drain. I really have found total and utter peace, fear holds no sway over me, I fear nothing, I'm emotionally bulletproof. I have enjoyed so many tender moments. I loved the other morning just staring at the missus as my fingers ran over every pore of her face, gentle enough not to wake her. They ran over her eyelids, down her nose and across her lips, sweeping the hair behind her head. Gradually the eyes parted but I carried on and ran over each of her fingers, taking in every detail and looking at ther smooth beautiful hands next to my wrinkled yellow skinned fingers, extremities have been wracked by chemo. Iam fascinated by the hands that look so old, my body still poisoned. Tears welled in her eyes and my fingers swept them away. We hugged and fell asleep in each others arms. then she got up and made me perfect boiled eggs with soldiers. She is just that part of me, I don't exist without her, I belong to her, she has my everything. I'll stay with her at all times, when she's lonely or upset, I'll be there, I know I will. I want her to move to the south coast and live the life with the animals, I dearly love animals so much, as does she. I wish I could have had that life where work is a fucking meaningless pursuit and my only concern becomes helping others, others we often treat so badly. I watched all of Amazing Grace last night and by God it was fucking excellent. I felt so good when they finally won, after 15 years. The scenes of him crippled in pain by collitis reminded me of those pains I used to get with my Crohn's when I was 13, like being stabbed. At the end there is a shot of a spiders web covered in dew, a beautiful image and one which got my tears rolling. I implore people to watch it, such a great film, what a wonderful man. And his preacher who wrote Amazing Grace, awesomely played by Albert Finney, tremendous, heart rending stuff. I shall watch again very soon. I put on Sigur Ros's DVD this morning at about 5 am and tears rolled and rolled at the haunting music and the footage of scenery from around Iceland, I still haven't finished watching it, it looks beautiful though, a treasured purchase already. I want to throw myself in to poetry as I feel I'm finally improving. It's funny, I was doing a big blog entry at one am the other night, articulating the story of how I met Liz and how she changed me and saved me. I'd written a page and a half and the page just shut for no reason. No crash it was just io==one tab in firefox and just disappeared without warning. I was FURIOUS but then in the morning I realised that it wasn't that great and maybe I shoiuld crack on with a poem and When I'm gone came out which I'm dead chuffed with and I thought 'hmmmm, good job it was deleted, it wasn't very good. Fate, I guess. more later, when I've woken up again | ||
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| I see him as soullessly ruthless, and drive in the according manner.
I'm going to get Amazing Grace on your recommendation, it sounds top. That Sigur Ros DVD gets amazing reviews like, look forward to watching that too. Defo keep up with the poetry marra, it seems that you're in the frame of mind to produce some pretty amazing stuff. | |||
| Posted by notspavin | |||
| Entry 29 of 431 |
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