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| Hello everyone, How are you all? Well, I've been having a rough time, these piles just aren't subsiding and I'm in agony quite regularly. I've had a couple in the middle of the night which have just been so intense, after the event, that it defies belief. The other night I was in extreme agony, I'd used a medicated calming tissue on my arse, I was sat on the settee on the trusty bag of peas after applying my prescription cream and then had to take to 2 tramadol to no real effect. So I just had to lie there going 'gnnnnnnuuurrr, arrrghhhh, fuck' for half an hour as the missus looked on helplessly. I can't explain the relief when it finally calms, almost a dizzying light-headed euphoria descends. I feel very tired and just so happy to be without pain, my body breathes a huge sigh of relief and I melt in to the settee while watching a DS9 DVD. Just sitting through pain like that is very distressing, it is so intense, face-scrunchingly teeth-grindingly vicious that I have never known anything like it. What I'd give to be in hospital and getting some morphine pumped in the IV to just take it all away on the spot and calm you down. I'm afraid that is about all my news as I've been house-bound by this so my life has revolved around DS9 (that's star trek for those who don't know) DVDs. The lack of sleep has been hard, I've just tried to catch hours when I can to little overall effect, I'm still half a world away most of the time, I can barely keep my eyes open sat here. My mam and dad visited yesterday and it was fucking ace to see them again, it's been a while now, getting two big hugs as they came in was the best feeling. I love my dads hugs, he's so big framed that he dwarfs me and it feels so comforting. I sadly couldn't go out so we just stayed in and my mam did me some cooking and I had a natter with my dad. I had a horrible poo at one point and it was nice having my mam on hand to stroke my legs and say soothing words. I do just love them both to bits. I felt very guilty because I couldn't keep my eyes open and fell asleep, despite my best efforts. They'd traveled so far but they totally understood. I wrote another poem for the missus, it's even more drippy than usual but I'll post it anyway Where did she come from, this beauty who lies next to me?, why do I deserve to be loved by this pure heart?, I wandered as a lost and empty soul before she entered my life like a hurricane, my love forever hers to carry as I will forever cherish hers, a gift so great I feel overwhelmed by the glory. | ||
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