I'm having a bit of a lazy day today. I did loads of exercise yesterday and I feel a little buggered today. It's been a bit of a disturbing week really as I have been 'passing blood', to use the polite phrase, for a few days now. I normally get a couple of days of it during chemo but it hasn't totally let up this time. I think it is because of worrying about this scan, even though I'm not really consciously worrying about it it is probably knocking around in my subconscious. I do hate scans like, well, not the scan, just the moment the doctor walks in the room, normally for me with the accompanying 'serious face' which I dread seeing. I know as soon as they walk in what the news is going to be. But I just have to get on with it, it has to be done at some point and it will help them continue my treatment effectively. So I'm in hospital for the scan tomorrow and will have the pain of them trying to get a canula in somewhere in my hardened veins, I sometimes wish they would just do the op for the central line as the canulas can really hurt when they fail. I'm having an exercise assessment with the Aussie bloke afterwards, I'll look forward to that, making a program specifically for me for exercising. Then a final night at home before hospital on Wednesday. Just got to get through these next few days, I'll try doing some meditating to help.
Just had a nice walk to Waitrose. The thick smell of bonfires in the air, the smoke causing a haze down the road. I adore the smell of bonfires, just reminds me of tidying my grans garden' which had a fair few trees in, when I was young, getting the bonfire going and obviously being a boy, poking it with sticks and stuff. mmmm, fire. Have I ever mentioned the time I set fire to loads of seaburn dean by accident? The trees are almost totally leafless now, those craggy trees which reminded me of warm old men in the summer now take on a more sinister air. How I've missed these autumn winter months.
Anyway, I think I'm going to kill some zombies on my Wii. |
