hello again,
well, I'm just waiting for my mam to arrive on the train as eh is visiting me for a couple of days. It'll be really nice having her down and watching some DVDs and being fussed over. I haven't been up to a great deal I must say, my exercise program is progressing very well, doing power walks, weights, tharaband exercises and circuits up and down the stairs and I'm building every day. My pocket watch is ticking away next to me, I really do love the sound. I did a good old walk this morning and will do another with my mam this afternoon, through the park and then a slush puppy to finish it off with. Hope I get a straw this time, they are a bit tricky without the straw and you tend to get more red stuff on your lips and face making you look more of a gimboid than you already do after you've eaten one. I may get a blue one today. The walk was lovely, I walked to the end of copers cope road (odd name eh?), past Palace's training ground and through lots of brown leaves on the ground. The sun was out and it felt wonderful, I tried to catch a glimpse of some of the birds flitting about but they were a bit too quick for me.
I've written my mam a letter about 'stuff', as I have with my brother in law and sister. Just saying stuff you want to say and all that, in case of the worst they at least have a written record of how I felt. Only my dad left now. I know my dad will be a bit lost getting a letter about feelings and memories and stuff, I doubt he'll know what to say but I don't need him to say anything, I just want him to know how much he means to me, as all my family do. I know he struggles to express his feelings but I know he loves me and I just want to say things that, well, you always mean to say but never really do because you think you have plenty of time in normal life when in reality any one of us could be gone in the blink of an eye. Having the cancer has made me more aware of expressing my feelings to the people I care about without any feelings of embarrassment or suchlike. Fuck embarrassment, this is so much more important. I realise my dad will be reading this and will probably be dreading getting a letter now but we don't need to talk about it if you don't want to dad, just so long as I let you know about things, that's what matters to me. Not that I've written it yet like. Probably won't for a couple of weeks as it takes me an age to pull my finger out and get writing. The stupid thing is I love writing them when I get going so I should just focus and sit down and let it flow.
Anyway, my mam will be ringing any minute so I'd best get ready and stuff. Speak to you later. |
