Well hello again after my little absence. As mentioned previously I've been away to Alexander House hotel, which was fucking lovely. We had a rather fraught journey down as I rather stupidly left the missus to sort out directions. She printed the web page but the map didn't print properly so we went up and down the B2028 a couple of times before I figured out mesel what was going on. I couldn't help it but this put me in a stinking bad mood, 'why isn't the atlas in the car?' 'why don't we have directions? 'why didn't she check the map print?' but that's just because I'm always so up on such things, punctuality and route finding are what I'm really finickity about but the issus is lacking in both areas so I should have known better than just to leave it to her. My own fault really. It was nice to open up the car a bit though, it's the first time we've had it on the open road and it was a pleasure to drive, especially compared to a shitty 1.0 micra that we had previously, which I never wanted to drive because it was, well, just tiring to drive being so shit and weedy. Of course the new car is also an automatic so it's just like driving a dodgem really. I soon got out of my bad mood and apologised when we went down to the spa, fucking lovely it was. (http://www.alexanderhotels.co.uk/alexander_house/alexander-house-utopia-spa.shtml)
The room was gorgeous and the bathroom was very nice, it included a double shower, which was just a little weird if I'm honest. Me and the missus gave it a go but I dunno, I go to the shower to get a job done, get clean and it's just, well, weird. Had soem lovely treatments the next day although on the second massage I was bursting to fart the whole time. I tried to get rid of it all before I went in (I farted in to the seat in the cafe area and left the missus to pick up the pieces when I was called in, apparently the couple sat next to us walked away in disgust, obviously thinking it was the missus. Jobs a good un), but it was no use, the full body massage just pushed it all to the exit hole and I was struggling to maintain containment, i really didn't want to unleash a horrific smelling toxic fug while she was in there, that would have been somewhat embarrassing. Thankfully the core didn't breach and containment was maintained. As soon as I was out I went up to the room for a massive fart and a git big shit.
I really don't want to be going to hospital tomorrow (apologies for that whingy poem...pathetic) but it has to be done. It's facing the scan that I don't want. I know it isn't going to be brilliant news but hey ho, just got to keep on keeping on as someone put it on the donations page (I love duff's comment as well, he knows I'll know what I mean by it, as will a lot of other people, well, bill hicks fans anyway. Duff is ace, I wish I wasn't ill that time when I was going to that gig with him, he just seems like someone I'd really get on with). time will tell anyway. I might be able to do a blog from hospital if the missus gets her internet card thing for her laptop from work, if not, it'll be friday/saturday. But, for what it's worth, keep your fingers crossed that it's just crap news rather than REALLY SHIT news. |
