Hello again.
Well, I've had a quite lovely day, thanks for asking. It started with an early wake up, cereal then back to sleep then up properly. Off to the park for my power walk. It was absolutely fucking beautiful up there, gorgeous day. Walked past a lovely friendly squirrel who came closer and closer and did the adorable sitting-on-hind-legs with paws in front thing. If only we had a nut, he would have come up and taken it I'm sure, he was a sweety. It was so lovely walking through the trees with the sun streaming through the leaves, looking high into the branches of those ancient giants while holding the missuses hand, it was just perfect. We walked past a woman and her dog as the dog raced to chase a squirrel at quite a pace, the squirrel just escaping up a mulberry tree. The woman then explained he'd never run that fast in years and she didn't know what had got in to him, he turned round and limped back to her with a doleful expression, a quick burst of youthfulness again. We sat on the picnic seats and I had a strawberry slush puppy while she had a tea. Slush puppies eh? Great stuff, I don't think the machine had been used in years, I bet the ice had been trundling round for generations in there. And of course it stained all my mouth pink, good old artificial colouring! We sat and looked out at the view (I'm taking my camera tomorrow so I'll take some pictures) and just took it all in. I wanted to tell her how I'm not scared any more, I feel too happy to be scared of anything (despite my poems being a little 'dark', dunno why that comes out in my poems). Whatever the scan brings it brings, I'll cope no matter what. I'm not expecting good news so whatever it is can't harm me. I'm too in love, with my wife and everything around me to be scared any more. If I have to take that final journey then I shall fade away contentedly, happy I know I am loved and I have loved like I never thought possible. But I'd like to die amongst the grass and leaves where I can feel the world beneath me. No, I'm not frightened, we all have to die sometime.
I shall be wearing my new russia top tonight, it's ace.
I'm very fucking nervous now like, brrrr, strangers, brrrrr, social discomfort and panic. At least I can't drink and make a tit of mesel thankfully.
See you all soon |
