Well, today has been very nice. I went out and did a 'power walk' as part of my new exercise regime, or oxygen therapy' as the fella called it. He was ace, so informative about what exercise can do for me in my battle, the care in private really is ace. So I started off with a 25 minute power walk through the park. I have to walk fast enough to be breathless and be able to converse but not fast enough for conversing to be a problem. So me and the missus headed off and it felt really good to push myself, I can see my muscle tone returning these past few weeks, and it's very comforting to see, I have the hint of some pecs and the biceps and triceps are on the way back, plus my shoulders are rounding up nicely. I'm doing muscle work with a tharaband, amazing when you have someone show you how you can actually do all the weights based exercises you do in a gym with one 12p piece of elastic. It's topper because it keeps me out of the gym which are infection zones, and I don't need that.
My shite is like molten fucking lava at the minute, my piles absolutely wreck. I'm not exaggerating when I say I could have passed out with the pain and came close to vomiting while shitting. Agony, absolute and total agony. Thankfully I have a stock of morphine based painkillers to hit it hard with and some very effective prescription pile cream. It aint nice putting cream on your ringpiece though, very undignified.
It felt really good to be back amongst nature properly again in the park, I really did find it very relaxing. I started thinking again about trying to imagine everything around me made from protons nuetrons and electrons, with photons bouncing around, and me all a part of it. I find I can connect with nature that way, it makes me feel at peace, just to lie on the grass and think of all the life around me and all the atoms that make it, and me, up, watching photons bounce off leaves. Very calming. I'd love to check out in such a fashion, just lying under a tree on some grass, that would be perfect.
Nice quote from the end of Gattaca 'they say we are made from the atoms of dead stars so maybe I'm not leaving, maybe I'm going home' (he's about to go in to space)
time for tea. |
