Well, another day and another countdown to being admitted on Wednesday. I'm not feeling too nervous and the hospital is very nice so it shouldn't be too strenuous on that front. I've been in to town and bought a new pile of DVDs to keep me entertained. I had a terrible nights sleep last night, I'm sleeping really badly at the minute, my Crohns is playing up a little so I'm up at the toilet a few times a night but normally I can fall asleep pretty quickly again but not at the minute, I'm just all out of sorts. I got a grand nights sleep when I had a tamazopan but it did make me feel a little groggy in the morning but it may be worth it if it gets me through the night. There aren't many worse things than watching Sky Sports News cycle through it's stories for the third time in the middle of the night. I've bought 'Sunshine' to watch tonight, fancied it when it was at the cinema but it has to be extra special for me to make the effort to go to the cinema, I'm not a big cinema goer. I used to know someone who had a phobia about cinemas.
The missus has been brilliant, she fusses around me, going out to the shops to get anything I want and just generally making life so much easier. You'll be sick of me harping on about this but I don't care, it's my blog, bitches ;) I just love her so much, I keep thinking about our seaside home and it was just be so perfect as she means absolutely everything to me. three and a half years we've been together now and I just find my feelings getting stronger and stronger all the time. We never really row, the odd pathetic disagreement which is forgotten within a matter of hours is about as much as we can manage. I can't imagine any other woman having the profound effect on my life that she has done, and to think it all started in a fucking Walkabout pub on a Friday night during a 2 for 1 promotion with me rambling on to her about the morality of warfare in the 20th century, 'yeah, chat about the My Lai massacre, I'm sure she'll love that!'. My chat up technique isn't exactly legendary. Luckily she found me interesting though, she said no to me originally asking if she wanted to go out one night, but, me being me, I just drank a bit more and talked about 20th century warfare some more and asked her again and she gave in. I dunno, call me a drippy twat but I truly believe I was just meant to meet her. I know if I ever got through this and we lived a normal life and she died before me, there'd never be another. Never. The older among you might say 'ooooh, the folly of youth' but I've lived as much as any man in this short few months, and we together have been through more than almost any ordinary couple so I know it's the truth when I say I'd never meet another, and nor would I want to. I'm not the type who fears my own company, quite the opposite so if she ever died I wouldn't feel the 'need' to meet anyone else, I'd just soldier on through until it was my time to leave the planet. Not that that is ever likely mind, I think I shall be leaving the planet first but I know she has expressed similar sentiments.
I've been remembering some childhood days lately. My sister was just texting me today saying she was in the park in south shields and was riding the little miniature train with her kids, just like we did when we were young. Just certain times you remember and are taken back there. In the summer my mam and dad having a drink in Horizons on Shields prom and giving us money to go the arcades in shields, my dad driving down that sea front bit down Hendon way, where you drive down a road next to a factory and through a small tunnel before coming out on the coast bit, going to see if anyone had caught any fish, he also went there for his casting lessons, I'd sit in the car listening to tapes while the weather aged outside and my dad attempted to perfect his pendulum casting. I don't think I ever went down there when it was sunny, always lashing down. Walks along Roker prom when the tide was in and the waves lashed up. Going to Newcastle Road baths for the kids inflatables night and playing the 'green beret' arcade machine afterwards with a warming cup of thin hot chocolate from the machine.
I'm rambling now. Childhood days eh? |
