ahhh, another day.
Well, I went up to the British Museum with the missus yesterday. It was canny like, hidden away down a back street is this fucking massive impressive building. I was feeling rather knackered by the time I got there as we'd been around and about town a fair bit already. Had a look trying to find the ancient greek stuff and it took a fair bit of wandering to get to the stuff I wanted to see by which point I was fucked and very sick of tourists. I was hoping for a bit armour and swords and that sort of shit but it was mainly sculpture and plates and stuff. Eventually found a little bit of war stuff and it was very cool but then it dawned on me that a lot of the war stuff will probably be up at the Imperial War Museum. There was a topper gladiators helmet there like and they had a photo of an amazing Greek helmet but they'd lent it out somewhere, the shits. The Egyptian stuff was very cool but just had a zip through that an arl before heading home again. I was fucking shattered. That's partially because I didn't even move from my room the whole time I was in hospital.
Had a little wander out today to do a few chores and that. Enjoyed a sit in the village green eating a sandwich and reading the paper. Just waiting for next tuesday now to see what the results of the ERCP are, I just hope so much that it has reduced my liver levels enough for chemo to begin, I really do want to get it going as soon as possible. Well, either that or this crazy advanced antibody therapy, which does sound intriguing. But, more waiting for now, it's quite shit having to just wait for a lot of the time but that's the way it is, these things take time. I appreciate the quality time I get to spend with the missus at these times, even just spending half an hour lying down having a proper hug makes a difference. It makes you realise exactly what you have when faced with something like this. Not that me and the missus weren't close before or owt like that but it certainly deepens things and that awareness of time makes you time together so much more precious. I'm very proud of how stoical I am being through all of this, you never know how you are going to deal with events like this until you face them. I've always known I would be hit by this at some point in my life, I probably mentioned that previously in my blog, so I haven't lived blinded to it. But I haven't cried since the diagnosis and I very rarely get properly down. Sometimes I get bad news but it just takes a day or so to take it in before it's all taken on board and a new outlook begins. The missus has said ow much easier it has made dealing with it herself when I am being so strong about it, I know she'd find it terribly distressing to see me down and depressed so I'm glad it hasn't affected me that way, but I have belief in my ability to handle, well, anything, now I'm going through this. I've been through a fair few really shitty times in my life and just got on with it and I have felt a certain sense of pride when people have said they were amazed I came through it as it would have sent them under in the same situation. I still can't believe the amount of horrible procedures I've been through in my time, I'm amazed I'm not phobic about hospitals.
I'm off out for a drink with my (soon to be ex) flatmate tonight, I've pondered asking if the SMB lot fancy popping down here for a drink but I don't want to seem too, errr, hmmm, can't think of the world, selfish or self-obsorbed isn't right, but along those lines. It would be good to see them again, not that I've ever been sparkling company when I've met them as I get quite ridiculously nervous so just end up nodding and laughing.
I've started watching the Battlestar Gallactica remake series on DVD, rather enjoyable so far. |
