Good evening,
Well, an interesting few days has been had this week. I've been off to see a liver consultant today at cromwell hospital near Kensington way. It was very pleasant, he sat and chatted through stuff and was a very nice man. I'm probably going to be going in to hospital again on Thursday for ANOTHER ERCP but hopefully it will be the one that allows my liver to drain for the chemo to begin. I might not, depending on the blood test results but it's a probable. But it'll be in the private hospital, my own room and bathroom, even my own fridge! Eeee, private is canny. He talked about doing photo dynamic therapy on me in the autumn as he feels that I'm an ideal candidate so that will be cool. It won't cure the cancer but it will give it a bit of a pasting. It's all a bit odd photo dynamic, but I'm sure I've talked about it before, it's quite cool though. But the good thing was he felt that there wasn't a reason why I couldn't hopefully live a number of years. And if that is the case then who knows what might happen in those few years in terms of medical advances and suchlike. But the difference between this and the news I was given in hospital by the NHS doctors is huge. I don't really think a liver doctor should be telling me when I'm going to die if cancer isn't his specialist field, as they did in Kings hospital. They basically told me to go home, get pissed, have a holiday and wait for the big check out. That's just wrong really, my oncologist and liver consultant (the private one) have shown that there are many options available to me. You know, even if they just get a couple of years out of me, I'll be fucking grateful, instead of the end of year prognosis I was given by the liver fella in Kings. I felt so much better knowing I could live for a few years yet, you know, early/mid 30's would still be young age to die but I'll make sure I live my life, love my wife and be a good man and make those years special. I also just want to read and read and read (speaking of which I got another paul davies book today, 'the cosmic blueprint', I can tell PS will probably wince at that title!). Ah, I just feel filled with so much more hope, whatever awaits me is for the future but it isn't all so doom laden all of a sudden, I should hopefully have some time to play with, which is all I ask. Granted, I'll have some horrible shit to go through in that time but I doubt anyone around will be able to appreciate just how much love I will have for my life and living it, fuck the pain and the side effects and all that shit, I'll be alive and I'll be with my wife and I'll be living every last fucking second, or trying to at least.
Anyway, I'm rambling now, I'm going to get back to my book before I start schpeiling out all sorts of stream of consciousness embarrassing bullshit that I'll wince at the day after.
Laters everyone |
