I have my oncology appointment today, handily not until 3:45 meaning I can get up a head of steam of nervousness. Quarter to four? Fucking hell, I could do without that. I'm dreading it to be honest, totally dreading it. The thing I'm most dreading is someone repeating the prognosis to me. I know the prognosis, I don't want to hear it again, I'm not living in denial, I accept what they think but I don't intend to conform to the plan or statistics about previous cases. I am I and they are they. The day will be so wasted with me just sat worrying and worrying and worrying. It'll probably put me off my food an arl. Got the welfare officer coming round soon to explain all the benefits I can get for having this, which I'm not keen on listening to either but it's more for the sake of the missus.
Slightly better nights sleep last night, not quite so much itching so that's something.
Anyway, I'm not sure I'm in the mood to write any more, I'll just go and sit down. And worry. And worry. And worry. |
