Hello there,
well, this week has been rather crap I have to say. Suddenly I am lacking in energy so much. I go through spells of barely being able to be arsed to walk and then feeling fine later on. I'm hoping I'm just still adjusting to things and the positive outlook will return soon because at the minute I feel very low. I can't believe this is happening to me. Graeme Kerton, 29 years old and with very serious cancer. I would have been a bit miffed if this had happened at 39 but fuck me, 29?! Still, I need to get my head above the water. I've had such tender moments with the missus, I hate the thought of leaving her, that's what pains me the most. I'm also scared about gradually withering, which is how this week has felt, even though it is probably just a down week. We've been looking in to lots of centres to help us and stuff so maybe they will come up trumps. My scans should be going off to the clinic in america. I know mine is too advanced for them to consider transplant but it doesnt stop me dreaming that I'll get a reply saying 'come across immediately, we want to try a transplant'. But it won't happen. Still, can but dream. I'm going to Kew gardens tomorrow with the family, hopefully I'll find some inspiration there.
I can't continue writing right now as it's all just a bit poo and this is turning in to one big depressing ramble.
Oh, and my body has decided to give me fucking piles. Of all the times to get piles, give it to me when my crohns disease is bad (and I am shitting about 6 times a day) and I feel generally shit. Yeah, cheers body, you fucking cunt. |
