Hello there,
Well, I've been off work ill with jaundice. Which is shit. But it went a bit shitter today. Went to see the consultant. They are worried about me. Some of the pipes in my liver are obviously blocked so they need to take me in to put a camera down my throat and inset a tube in my liver to open up the flow to help the bile through. Unfortunately, when these inflamed blockages happen there's a high chance of them becoming cancerous. And liver cancer means you are fucked. So they are looking at a transplant for me. As I'm sure you can appreciate, this is very scary indeed. Brrr, a liver transplant. But, if it makes me well again, then so much the better. But there's rather a lot to be fearful of. And who knows how long I'll be on the waiting list, and on the waiting list the chances are I'll decline quite badly. That's something I don't want the missus to have to deal with. I feel terrible for putting her through this but I'm so grateful that she loves me so much, she really is the best. I'd be utterly petrified if it wasn't for the missus. Hopefully the future holds a transplant and a new life on the other side of it. My family have called and are very sorry for me. My poor dad didn't know what to say, managing 'oooooo hell' and that sort of thing. My sister rang and I burst out crying when she told me she loved me. My mam and sister are going to come down when I go in for my initial mini operation. The only time I got upset in the consultants was at the thought of having the camera down my throat while I was awake as I said the sedatives never work on me. Straight away she said they'd put me under a general so that took a weight off the mind. Do what you like when I'm knocked out.
Anyways, no doubt I'll be talking about this a lot pretty soon. For that I apologise but don't feel obliged to read, it's just a good place to let off steam for me.
I have a tough future ahead I just hope I have the courage and bodily resilience to come out the other side. Whatever you have people, appreciate it as things can be so much. I've been trying to think the same after reading a leaflet on ill kids and stuff. |
